A part of Me

Friday, November 8, 2013

So, VERSIE is a big part of what I feel I am supposed to be doing right now in my life.  It's interesting how the Lord works through us sometimes.  The whole process of bringing VERSIE slips to market has been a sacred experience in many ways.  I have had to find a part of me that I didn't know existed.  I have had to trust in the Lord and his timing.  I have had to lean into my fears and trust the process of being taught the things that I needed to learn.  In many ways it is very humbling, but I also feel so fulfilled.

I have struggled over the years on how to be a mom and also have a business.  I think it was a bit of that "mommy guilt" so many talk about.  I had often felt that doing both was virtually impossible, at least for me.  Not that it couldn't be done, but neither could be done very well if trying to do them simultaneously.  For me, the most important thing in my life was to teach and raise children that were positive contributors to society.  I have always felt that being a mom is the most important job, and when you have small children --they need you.  So, I would feel guilty trying to work while trying to be a mom at the same time.  I just felt like I was trying to do too much, even though there was a very big part of me that loved designing and business.  I just felt conflicted and torn.  So much so that I began to feel like I had to make a choice, and of course my family was always the most important.  So, a few years ago, I decided to stop all my projects and completely focus on being a mom....seemed really simple.

Then earlier this year, I was having a conversation with designer, Tracy Porter.  We spent some time talking, and I did a lot of learning from her.  I asked her, "How do you do it?  How do you design and have a successful design business, and still have a family and be a mom?  How do you find balance?"  Her answer hit me like a ton of bricks.  She said, "Adrienne, being a designer is just as much a part of me as being a mom.  I have to create.  It is so much a part of me that I can not separate the two.  I have to be disciplined to create time for both.  But, I'm actually a better mom, when I take the time to create and design."

I finally got it.  I could so relate to her.  I finally realized that so much of who I am is a designer.   So many of my gifts and talents lie in creating and designing.  And when I am suppressing it, to sort of fit a certain "mold" or "stereo-type", I am really unhappy--miserable, actually.  I have since learned that I really have to be disciplined to find time for both.  And thank heavens for my supportive husband, who is so willing to give me the time I need.  I feel renewed and refreshed and re-energized to be a better and happier mom to my kids when I have that time.  What a blessing.


VERSIE shoot

Thursday, November 7, 2013

Behind the scenes at a VERSIE product shoot...so much fun, and seriously we laughed the entire time!!  Thanks to gorgeous models, a talented hair and makeup artist and one amazing photographer!   Can't wait to share these images soon.

Annie M

Get on with it.

Monday, November 4, 2013

Your life is a gift.  Your life has a plan.  Your life has a purpose, in Heaven it began...right?

But sometimes, every now and then, I found myself wondering-- is this all there is?  I mean, there must be more to it than this.  Day in, and day out--kids, laundry, prayer, meals, designing, husband, groceries, homework, driving, cleaning, showering, bills, lecturing teaching kids, exercise, church, friends, texting communicating with others, mommy time, and on and on.  Not that many of those things do not bring me tons of happiness and joy.  But the reality is, as a whole, sometimes it all seems to be lacking in the purpose and plan and gift part.

Here's what I've learned and am currently learning.
I finally came to a place in my life a few years ago when I decided I was tired of focusing on things that didn't really matter.  Actually, it was more like I was doing things that I thought I enjoyed, but I wasn't feeling very fulfilled when all was said and done.  I decided I needed more in my life.  I was tired of trying to find happiness in things or relationships or projects.  Exhausted from trying to make everything in my life look and be perfect, but more than that I was tired of not feeling fufilled.  I was over stressing about things I couldn't control.  I was just plain beat down--much of my own doing.  I realized instead of looking all around me for direction and purpose, I actually needed to look up.

And so I did.
I started a dialog with my Heavenly Father...  I do this.  I just sort of talk in my head like I'm having a conversation sometimes demanding things and sometimes arguing with Him {I know, bad, right? Im sort of stubborn}.  I just finally said, "you know what, I'm tired of looking for happiness in meaningless things.  I seem to not be able to figure it out on my own. So, I just want to be doing what you want me to do.  Could I please just do that?  Please?  Whatever it is, I just want to do that.  I'm tired of not finding purpose in the things that I seem to think will.  Just show me what it is you want me to be doing right now with my life, so I can get on with it." {I'm kind of impatient, too.}

And guess what?  VERSIE is a part of that answer...yay!

So, what is it you need to get on with?  Trust me, it's so worth it to start on that path.

Annie M