A part of Me

Friday, November 8, 2013

So, VERSIE is a big part of what I feel I am supposed to be doing right now in my life.  It's interesting how the Lord works through us sometimes.  The whole process of bringing VERSIE slips to market has been a sacred experience in many ways.  I have had to find a part of me that I didn't know existed.  I have had to trust in the Lord and his timing.  I have had to lean into my fears and trust the process of being taught the things that I needed to learn.  In many ways it is very humbling, but I also feel so fulfilled.

I have struggled over the years on how to be a mom and also have a business.  I think it was a bit of that "mommy guilt" so many talk about.  I had often felt that doing both was virtually impossible, at least for me.  Not that it couldn't be done, but neither could be done very well if trying to do them simultaneously.  For me, the most important thing in my life was to teach and raise children that were positive contributors to society.  I have always felt that being a mom is the most important job, and when you have small children --they need you.  So, I would feel guilty trying to work while trying to be a mom at the same time.  I just felt like I was trying to do too much, even though there was a very big part of me that loved designing and business.  I just felt conflicted and torn.  So much so that I began to feel like I had to make a choice, and of course my family was always the most important.  So, a few years ago, I decided to stop all my projects and completely focus on being a mom....seemed really simple.

Then earlier this year, I was having a conversation with designer, Tracy Porter.  We spent some time talking, and I did a lot of learning from her.  I asked her, "How do you do it?  How do you design and have a successful design business, and still have a family and be a mom?  How do you find balance?"  Her answer hit me like a ton of bricks.  She said, "Adrienne, being a designer is just as much a part of me as being a mom.  I have to create.  It is so much a part of me that I can not separate the two.  I have to be disciplined to create time for both.  But, I'm actually a better mom, when I take the time to create and design."

I finally got it.  I could so relate to her.  I finally realized that so much of who I am is a designer.   So many of my gifts and talents lie in creating and designing.  And when I am suppressing it, to sort of fit a certain "mold" or "stereo-type", I am really unhappy--miserable, actually.  I have since learned that I really have to be disciplined to find time for both.  And thank heavens for my supportive husband, who is so willing to give me the time I need.  I feel renewed and refreshed and re-energized to be a better and happier mom to my kids when I have that time.  What a blessing.


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