What's your Influence?

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

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I had a few questions for myself the other day....it went like this:

Are you growing, learning and trying to be better in your life?
--Well, yes, I'm trying to.  It's hard though.

Do I have people in my life that I look up to, that inspire me to be better?
Yes, and I love those people.

Am I that person to someone in my life right now?
Umm, probably, though its hard to gauge it.  I mean, I hope that the things I feel inspired to share are meaningful.  And more importantly, that the person I am trying to be is reaching those that need my influence.

It's always interesting to me how influence is felt--sometimes a simple comment from a friend, or hearing someone's story or getting much needed advice.  It's kind of like one eternal round.  We help those that need our help and in turn, they help those that need their help....and on it goes.  I love the part that allows us to influence the people that we are meant to influence.  It's cool.

Reminds me of a time when I was feeling particularly inadequate.  I was teaching a lesson on pride {need I say more?}.  I was struggling with my own pride, not to mention trying to share a meaningful message that wasn't filled with hypocrisy--not easy, actually.  That afternoon, I was at home with my family and the phone rang.  I picked it up and it was a woman who had listened to my lesson.  She simply said, "I just wanted to call and let you know that you are just fine, Adrienne.  Stop being so hard on yourself."

Now, at first I wasn't sure how to take that little comment.  Initially, I was annoyed, thinking, "Well, I know I'm fine--quite fantastic, actually, but I don't need you to tell me that I'm just fine." {not prideful, whatsoever, right?---let's just say, I had a few more things to learn in that department...}

But later {a few years later, actually}, I realized she had delivered a message to me from my Heavenly Father.  She actually was probably annoyed at how many times I mentioned that I was the first to struggle with x, y and z, and yet---and yet, she felt inspired to deliver an important message to someone who needed to hear it.

Heavenly Father is seriously aware of us.  He sends messages to us in the craziest of ways sometimes and when we least expect it.  Sometimes we need those answers right in the moment, and sometimes they gain understanding years later.  He is so patient with us.

The truth is, looking back on those years, I wasn't feeling very fine inside.  I was struggling with maintaining a perfect facade.  I was feeling extremely unhappy with myself.  I was super critical of myself and others, and I was so focused on my outward appearance I could scarcely care about who I really was on the inside---and teaching a lesson about pride was about the most difficult thing I had done in my spiritual life.

He was letting me know through an inspired woman--that I was fine.  I didn't need to be focusing on all my imperfections.  I just needed to recognize that He had a bigger plan for me and my life.

Now, this woman has no idea of her influence in  my life, but I've never forgotten it.  She epitomizes a covenant keeping woman who was sharing her influence...pass it on.

xo

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